What We Run From
A series on the feelings and patterns that drive us to our addictions.
This series is just an overview on some of the things we are trying to escape from that leads, or led, us to our addictions.
I’m not a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. I’m an addict sharing experience, strength, and hope.
What This Series Is About
Most of us think the problem is the behavior.
It’s not.
The behavior is what we use to deal with something underneath.
Fear.
Shame.
Pressure.
Loneliness.
That constant feeling something isn’t right.
We don’t want to sit in it.
So we escape.
We go to the thing that works.
And it works just enough.
"We weren’t just chasing something. We were trying to get away."
That’s the problem.
It gives relief for a minute, then puts us right back in the same place, usually worse.
The point: not to psychoanalyze everything to death, but to get honest about some of the things underneath the urge.
Fear of rejection
The fear of not being wanted, chosen, accepted, or enough - and how that can drive us to addictive behaviors.
Anxiety
The constant internal pressure, overthinking, and restlessness that can make escape feel easier than sitting still.
Coming soon
Boredom
That empty, restless space where we start wanting stimulation, escape, or anything that will make us feel different.
Coming soon
Sadness / depression
The weight, numbness, and emotional shut-down that can leave us looking for relief anywhere we can find it.
Coming soon
Hopelessness
The lie that nothing changes, nothing helps, and nothing matters - one of the most dangerous places for an addict to live.
Coming soon
Anger
The resentment, frustration, and blame we carry that can quickly turn into self-destruction if left unchecked.
Coming soon
You might think you already know what you run from.
You might be wrong.
I was.
After doing the work, I found that what I ran from was more fear of rejection, anxiety, and boredom.
I used to think it was all of them, but it rarely is. And what we think it may be may just change when we honestly look.
"What’s underneath is usually simpler and harder than we think."
I highly, highly, can’t stress enough, recommend getting in with a counselor or therapist that is familiar with addiction.
This has helped in my own journey immensely.
Paired with 12-step recovery, I have found that freedom we would otherwise never know.
I will say, and this is just for me, out of all of those, 12-step recovery has hands down had the most impact on my life. I think maybe the work I do there helps me get the most out of counseling.
OK, enough soapbox and disclosures.
Ask anyone - I love to talk 😄
Let’s get into it.
If things feel heavy or out of control, you don’t have to handle it alone.
If you are in immediate distress, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Free and confidential support is available 24/7.
If you are struggling with addiction and need support:
- SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357
- National Drug Helpline: 1-844-289-0879
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911 right now.
Or reach out to a recovery community. Talking to someone who understands can make a real difference.